Love in the Lunchroom
by SleetGeekArtist
Summary: Sequel to, "A Well-Placed Spy Camera". Dib decides to tell Zim about his feelings, but Zim is acting all awkward. uke!Zim, WIP, will probably have fluffy smut in the future. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

Sequel to "A Well-Placed Spy Camera"

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><p>The alarm buzzed in Dib's ears. His hand fumbled for the sleep switch. After missing no less than twenty times, he pulled his eyes open. 7:00. Skool started at 8:00. "Shit!" Dib stumbled out of bed. Why did he sleep in? During the standing struggle to get his pants on, he noticed the still shot on his desktop. Zim, naked and surrounded by his own ejaculation, sat exhausted in a desk chair. Dib toppled over, feeling the start of a nosebleed commence.<p>

Zim had collapsed on his bed the night before, desperately clutching at one of his many pillows, crying himself to sleep and whispering, 'Don't leave me, Dib. Please, don't hurt me anymore…' Now he was getting dressed for skool, putting in the anime contacts and horrid wig. His computer was beeping an electronic proximity access warning, but Zim couldn't hear it over his heartache and loneliness. Eventually, the computer had no other logical course of action than to scream in his master's face.

"Sir, there has been an electronic proximity warning going off for the past ten minutes. Encoded signature has been recognized, and I have locked onto the signal, which has a live update feed. I suggest that you look into it." Zim looked up from his depressed staring at his boots, a startled expression on his undisguised green features. He listened to the pinging for a moment.

"Hey! There has been a warning! Why didn't you tell me before?" Zim dashed to the transmissions hall, leaving his disguise on. An exclamation point with the armada symbol as the dot flashed on the light blue screen. A turkey on a cart was sitting in the corner. Zim opened up the warning. "Computer! Show me what this little 'spy-bug' has recorded of me!" A video feed of Zim's private quarters appeared, the clock in the corner registering 21:00:45 Earth time. He recognized the CPU signature almost instantly as Dib's. The part of Zim's squedally spooch that acted as a heart almost soared. _Dib still cares, even when the Tallest, Irk, and the whole universe don't._ Zim almost cried with elation, until he realized that Dib had recorded, and saved, a video of stress relief program 7. Zim nearly vomited in horror over the fact that Dib would record something like this. And yet, there was something…comforting…that Dib would actually save something like this, as pornographic as it was. He'd even recorded the end, when Zim had shouted Dib's name during ecstatic, orgasmic, self-pleasuring. Something seemed… romantic about it. The clock pinged 7:30. Zim immediately dashed off for skool.

Things were uneventful until lunch. Pointless, and hopeless, lectures from Miss Bitters, then Bludgeon Ball in P.E., until finally there was a point of minor freedom from the tedium of public education. Indigestible 'food', supplied from the under-funded government, plastic tables with gum stuck underneath, it was as close to nirvana that the kids would get to all day. Dib slowly picked at his food. Should he tell Zim about…the video? What about his…feelings? What would Zim say? He'd been staring at the little 'invader' for the past few minutes. "Oh, screw it." Dib muttered, barely audible over the idiotic chatter of his peers and classmates. He walked over to Zim's table, where the Irken was preforming some sort of test on the 'turkey with gravy'.

"Hey, Zim. Mind if I sit with you?" Dib asked, hoping the nervous quiver in his voice was masked by the sheer volume of the cafeteria.

Dib was asking to sit with him? Zim? It was a dream-come-true for the little green alien. A nerve-wracking dream-come-true. His tongue was tied, his throat was dry, he didn't know what to say, a blush was quickly rushing across his face. Dib barely heard the little, "Sure." that slid past the Irken's lips. He sat down on the bench next to Zim, just barely scooting too close. Zim turned his head away, trying desperately too hide his blush. Why was he so nervous? Dib had seen him naked, for Irk's sake! Said Dib cleared his throat.

"So, uh…" Dib stuttered. Zim seems nervous. Odd. "I, uh, saw that…thing…last night." He tried to start some sort of conversation. Silence is weird.

"I know. My computer caught your spy bug." Zim responded automatically. Dib could tell that his heart wasn't in it. "You…really saved it?" He turned to the scythe-haired boy, currently of about fifteen. Lavender-disguised eyes reflected fear of rejection as he watched that constantly perfect hair bob vertically. "How much did you see?" Zim asked, shifting his gaze to the grey face on the cerulean tee.

"I saw from 'I Kissed a Boy' to 'Sweet Dreams'." Dib figured timing it by song would be the most efficient. He tried to keep eye contact and be as warm and gentle as possible. If it hadn't been obvious before, Dib could now clearly tell that Zim liked him. "Did you really…mean it…when you shouted my name?"

"Y-yeah. I did." His face was now almost completely dark green. "Why are you asking, Dib?" Insults would be below par at a time like this.

"Well…because…I-"His thought dried up in his trachea. A light redness brushed across his features. "Do you…really…feel that way about me?" Suddenly, Dib found that his fingers were very interesting. Zim nodded, suddenly deciding that there was some lint on his glove, and it was of MASSIVE IMPORTANCE that it be removed.

It felt good to at least get his feelings out of the way, at least for the time being. But now Zim was standing on proverbial thin ice, waiting to see if he wasn't hopeless. Bitterly, he remembered that the Tallest had exiled him, twice. All of the Irken territory hated him for being a defect, and whatever was left hated him for being Irken. "Does Dib feel the same?" Zim finally ventured to ask, bracing himself for the inevitable laughter and denial.

He didn't get a direct response. Instead, Dib's hands had pulled themselves behind Zim's head. He looked up, straight into golden irises. They reflected kindness and unashamed adoration. Moving cautiously, Zim slid his arms around the taller one's neck. Nothing seemed real, yet nothing could be more concrete than what was happening now. Zim became lost in the surreal light of Dib's eyes.

Dib was running on impulse now. All he knew was that it felt right to have Zim in his arms like this. Should he? Maybe not, it is Zim, after all. Yet there's something so innocent in those eyes… Dib closed the gap between them, sliding his lips carefully over Zim's. Reaction was instant, causing a sort of ecstasy to run down their spines. Trying not to rush, yet feeling the need to continue, Dib prodded his tongue against Zim's mouth, requesting entrance like how he'd read in all those fanfictions. When entry was granted, Dib felt his heart soar. He decided against exploration, instead choosing to play with Zim's tongue. It was thin and insectile, yet not wholly unpleasant. Dib moved his arms down to Zim's back, feeling the synthetic material. Humans had made something similar, called acetate, but it didn't breathe like this fabric. Leather gloves were around his neck, pulling in an almost possessive manner. But Zim didn't want control, he wanted safety.

Dib's arms were so strong, so comforting. Zim's trouble simply melted, along with the rest of him, as he clung to the human. Sadly, the kiss was broken too soon for Zim's taste. He looked into Dib's eyes, mesmerized by the twinkling light. "I love you, Zim." Dib whispered, brushing a loose portion of the wig back into place.

"Zim loves you too, Dibbles" Zim responded, burying his face into the shirt in front of him. Pheromones surrounded them, drifting about in a thin haze.

Miss Bitters tested the air with suspicion. "Smells like…" she muttered, pulling her feet onto her desk. "…teen spirit!"

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><p>AN: Yes, since "A Well-Placed Spy Camera" was so popular, I decided to write a sequel. Sadly, it's only fluff. But this is just asking for chapters, so I might add some smut in the future. Please review, and feel free to check out my IZ/RHPS Crossover!


	2. Chapter 2

LitL 2

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><p>"These two were engaged in a public display of affection, right in the middle of the lunchroom!" Miss Bitters's voice crowed across the principle's office. The principle sat in his shadowed chair, stroking some creature that was, in turn, stroking a gerbil.<p>

"A PDA? But, Miss Bitters, these two are boys. And with a track record like theirs, I would be surprised even if one of them was a girl! Surely, you must be mistaken." He almost seemed to growl when he spoke, battling Miss Bitters for fearsome vocal chords.

"I know it when I smell it. These two were engaging in a homosexual PDA on school grounds! I knew they were trouble, ever since the green one walked into my class! I say, we send them to the underground classrooms!" In the fight for most spine-chilling voice box, the elderly fifth-grade teacher was pulling a good fight.

"They are not in your jurisdiction anymore! I will decide the punishment. Zim, Dib, do you have anything to say?" The principle displayed a shining grin onto the two boys, who had both been sitting in plastic chairs on either side of Miss Bitters's cloak. Zim was crying.

"Don't let them hurt me, Dib." He choked out. "Please. I'm too hurt to take anymore!" Shuddering, burbling sobs flooded forth from the little green bundle. Dib felt his heart break as Miss Bitters recoiled in disgust.

"Zim!" Dib fired himself from his chair, knocking it over. He scooped the acetate-bound bundle into his arms. His trenchcoat fluttered around them, creating a sort of protective force field around them. "I would never let them hurt you. It's okay. Those who hurt you hurt me. I love you, Zim. Don't ever forget that." Dib felt the scratchy wig press into his shirt, a pair of wet spots was forming where Zim's tears were falling.

"Don't leave me, Dib. Stay with me. I need you, please." Zim's arms tightened around Dib's waist, forcing the boy's sternum into the alien's forehead. Zim had lost a lot within the last month; everything from his mission to his pride. He didn't want to lose anything else.

"I'll always stay with you. Always. I need you too." Dib placed some gentle kisses on Zim's head, pausing occasionally to simply press his face into Zim's skin. He knew the world thought he was crazy, he just ignored it. But words have a tendency to leave deep emotional scars that never heal.

"Stop it, both of you! I declare suspension! One week, for the both of you! Keep your activities off skool grounds." The principle boomed, shaking the walls of his corner office. The gerbil ran off in fear. Miss Bitters ushered the children out of the room. The door was labeled, 'Principle; '

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><p>Dib and Zim were walking down the overly happy street. Occasionally, a dog would walk past on the opposite side of the concrete.<p>

"Dib?" Zim asked, squeezing the hand of his company to prompt a response.

"Yes, Zim?" Dib replied, squeezing back.

"Could you…stay with Zim…at his base…during this…punishment?" Zim seemed to choose his words carefully, some of them being picked especially carefully.

"Of course, darling. My dad would be mad at me anyway." Dib smiled, placing a light kiss on Zim's cheekbone. Zim blushed and looked down. "What's wrong?" Zim glanced back up and sighed.

"I found out I am a defect last week. My mission has always been a lie. I nearly escaped with my life at the trial. The Tallest hate me, and so does the rest of the universe. That's why I did those things in that video you saved. It's…also why I do…this." Zim paused, pulling off his glove. He rolled up the sleeve, revealing some dark green scars.

"Zim! You've been…cutting?" Dib was astonished. Zim always seemed indestructible.

"Technically, it's not 'cutting'. I used a paint brush to put water on my wrist. It hurts, but not as much as the rejection. That's why I was scared to tell you how I felt. And that's why I need you." Zim pulled his sleeve back down, sliding the glove back on. He slipped his hand back into Dib's. Dib just stared, shocked.

"But…Zim! Hurting yourself is wrong! And you have other methods of forgetting, right? I mean, in the video, based on what you said, you've got at least seven." Dib had anguish written across his face, disappointment reflecting in his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, Dib. I'll cancel the program when we get home, if it makes you happy." Zim leaned into Dib's shoulder, cuddling the waterproof fabric as if it were a teddy bear. Five soft fingers ran their way through the tacky wig.

"I don't like it when you hurt yourself. Remember, things that hurt you hurt me. I'm happy being with you, but don't keep hurting yourself." Dib murmured into the disguise. Soon they came up to the glowing green house. The gnomes followed them as they came up the walk, but they didn't fire. Before opening the door, Dib caught Zim's wrist. Before Zim could ask for an explanation, Dib pulled him into a kiss.

Zim instantly melted at the lip contact. He felt Dib's arms around him again, supportive and strong, yet gentle and comforting. Dib's tongue prodded at Zim's sealed lips, asking about going in. Zim accepted wholeheartedly. There were no skoolteachers to interrupt them, no responsibility to their respective planets to remain enemies, just the two of them. Love is the great equalizer.

Zim broke the kiss this time, as payback for the short one back at skool. He was caught up on Dib's eyes, however, and remained in his arms. The gold glittered, undisguised infatuation in his features. They each took deep breaths, Dib opening the door without looking. He pulled back a little, holding his arm out to the door. "After you, darling."

Zim kissed Dib on the cheek before turning into his base. He walked in two feet before freezing, speechless.

"What's wrong, Zi-"Dib followed, cut off by the appearance of the frightful apparition in front of them.

He was about Dib's height, covered in orange body hair. Malnourished and nearly anorexic in appearance, he wore a set of too-small, too-torn clothes. The logo on his shirt was barely recognizable. His eyes were too large for his head, red and seemingly artificial.

"Keef! "Zim shouted, rooted to the spot. Keef smiled

"Hello…Clarice…"

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><p>AN: Yay! Chapter 2! I thank everyone who has reviewed, you guys all rock! And to those of you who havn't reviewed, feel free! I can recieve anonymous reviews, too! This chapter seems short, sorry 'bout that, but I really wanted to leave it with the creepy Keef Silence of the Lambs refrence! Don't be angry! There will be more!


	3. Chapter 3

LitL 3

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><p>"What the hell is HE doing here!" Dib screamed. Keef's overly smiling face tilted to the right slightly. His left ear was torn.<p>

"Silly Dibby, haven't you heard about the strange appearances?" For a feral human, Keef's voice was mysteriously melodic. There had been some weird occurrences lately. People had been disappearing, their corpses showing up weeks later with the eyes missing. Mysterious Mysteries was looking at the case, perhaps as possible body-snatcher-type aliens, but that was really all that anyone knew about it. "Zim's eyes are mine! And just for trying to interfere, I'll take yours too. It's fun to see people writhe around while they bleed. It's sad when they stop, though. They don't move again."

Zim had started crying again. "Don't let him near me, Dib! Don't let him touch me again!" He wailed. The tears were slowly dripping off his chin. Dib was shocked, overall. Sure, Keef was creepy, but he hadn't actually done anything. And what did Zim mean by "again"?

Dib pulled a 45-calliber pistol from a concealed holster at his belt. He leveled the point at Keef's head as he made his way over to Zim. What do you mean, 'again'? What did he do?" Dib slid his free arm over Zim's shoulders.

"Wh-why do you have a gun?" Zim spluttered, wiping some stray tears from his eyes.

"It's werewolf season. I have some silver bullets in here, so we're protected. Now, Zim, what did Keef do?" Dib looked Zim in the eyes, concern flitting through his pupils. Zim stared off into space as he recalled that day…

"Keef and I…were friends a few years ago. I only became friends with him so that I would seem normal to everyone else. We were just friends, and that was all I ever wanted. Just someone who would make me look normal at skool. But he wanted more, so much more…

"I'll never forget the day he took what he wanted. I was in the bathroom, pants around my ankles, using the urinal. Just a natural process that all organisms go through. Relieving waste. I heard someone come into the bathroom. It didn't bother me; it was a public bathroom, after all. I heard a zipper behind me. Again, it didn't bother me. Probably just someone who needed to use the urinal. Then…I felt his arms around my neck. 'Hey, buddy' he whispered. 'You know that I want to be more than friends, right?' I was terrified.

"'Keef?' I asked, scratching at the dividers between the urinals. I felt something poking me. I knew that he was trying to take me. I was a virgin, but I understood. 'I don't want this, don't do this.' I tried to command him off of me, but he didn't leave. He didn't leave…

"'But I want this.' He muttered. He didn't care; he just wanted to use me. He forced his way in. It hurt. That's all I felt: pain. I screamed for help, but none came. He screamed too, but for different reasons. I was bleeding. He secreted something into me. Now I know that it was his genetic material, for breeding. It burned. Worse than water. He forced a kiss. When it was over, I ran into a stall. I sat there for the rest of the day, crying and waiting for the acid to leave me." Zim trembled with sobs, sinking to the floor. Dib crouched down next to him, keeping the gun pointed at Keef.

"It's okay now, Zim. I'm here. I won't let him hurt you. I love you, never forget that." Dib held the little green body close to him. Zim shuddered with powerful sobs.

"But…he stole me…Irkens mate for life…We can never be together…because of him…" It looked like Zim was trying to hide inside Dib's shirt. Dib paled. "We can only be together if he is dead. I thought that he was. I put cameras in where his eyes were, making him think that I was a squirrel. He followed the squirrel out of my house and off a building. That should have killed him. But it didn't…"

"He was probably raised by the squirrels. Don't worry, Zim. I'll protect you." Dib placed his head on Zim's, feeling his heart break. This essentially meant that Zim was married. Dib was trying to date a married man. He glared at Keef. The familiar tenseness of animosity filled the air. The lenses of Keef's camera eyes adjusted, wholly emotionless.

"Finally, you're done. Now, give him to me, Dib. I need those eyes." Keef somehow kept the creepy smile even while talking. It reminded Dib of the 'Why so serious?' scene in Batman. It couldn't be natural.

"No, Keef," Dib's voice had a new strength behind it. No one hurts his beloved, without paying the price. "Zim hates you. I won't let you near him again. You can't hurt him." Dib moved his aim to Keef's heart, ready to kill if necessary.

"You think you can kill me? You think that would save you? All those others tried. You thought I was an innocent crazy, but that was my plan. I know that they're dead! I know what I've done, and I like it. You'll be next if you try to shoot." Keef stepped closer, his smile quickly growing into something...inhuman. He looked down on the bundle of lovers, the red shutter in the cameras adjusting slightly. His hand shot out to Zim's head, claw-like fingernails glittering in the evening light streaming in through the still-open door. He pulled his hand out, expecting blood and a perfect orb-shaped eyeball, but all he came up with was a pair of contacts.

Zim's tear-filled eyes looked up in fear. The insect-like maroon eyes sparkled in the growing moonlight. Dib gasped, knowing from years of experience that Zim's alien heritage was his most closely-guarded secret.

"Wow, Zim! I never would have guessed that these were contacts! And your real eyes are beautiful! They're mine!" Keef swooped down with his claws again, but Dib dragged Zim away, rolling over to the couch. He pulled out his gun, and fired. The silver bullet missed, hitting the television. Keef leapt towards them, a bestial snarl rising from his throat. Dib fired again, hitting Keef's leg. He doubled over, actually yowling in pain. Dib pulled Zim up from their position on the ground. They ran into the hallway, coming at a dead end in the kitchen. Keef had followed them, cackling. "You think I can die, just like that? I'm invincible! I've killed more people than you can count on both hands! But I'm fine! Squirrel Zim said it was a bad idea to look for you, Zim. But I didn't listen! He was wrong, it was right to find you." He took a few steps closer, ignoring Zim's sobs and the still-smoking barrel of Dib's gun. "Remember how it felt? In the bathroom, that time? It felt so good, didn't it?" Keef's voice drawled out, heavy with lust.

"Get away from him, Keef. He doesn't like you. Leave Zim alone." Dib commanded, the tip of the pistol just barely grazing his solar plexus. "I'm serious. Take one step closer and I will shoot." The gun trembled. Was Dib ready to…kill someone? Even if it was for the one he loved? Could he do it?

Keef smiled that awful smile. "You can't kill me. You couldn't kill anyone. You're too soft!" He leered closer to Dib's face. "But I can't die anyway. Just give him to me. You don't have to die today…" Keef smiled, the lenses in his fake eyes adjusting again.

Dib squeezed his eyes tight… and fired. The blood came fast, spilling out over Dib's lap. It reeked like nothing Dib had ever smelt before. Keef stumbled backward, clutching his stomach. "No…I can't die…its not possible…Squirrel Zim said so…oww…this hurts…it won't kill me…nothing can..." It was clear that Keef was crazy now, if it wasn't before. He tumbled to the floor, twitching. He almost looked like…a squirrel. When he stopped moving, the lenses on the cameras that acted as eyes were still adjusting like mad. Dib quickly shot both eyes, afraid that they might have some resurrecting program. Soon, the body was just lying there, like road kill.

"Keef is dead. You killed him." Zim was still crouched on the ground, crying quietly.

"Yeah…I killed him. Keef is dead." Dib blinked a few times. He felt…calm. It was weird. There was a dead body, right in front of him. But Zim was alright, and that's what was important. Dib turned to Zim, putting the gun back in its holster. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Zim is fine. Thank you…for…breaking my bond…to Keef." Zim pulled the wig off of his head, letting his antennae spring freely out of their tacky prison. Dib recalled the video, which felt like so long ago. He wondered what they would taste like. But he had to restrain himself. Only until Zim was ready, which might not be for a while.

"You're welcome, Zim. So…does this mean we can…be together? Like, as a couple?" Dib blushed, feeling as awkward as he did in the lunchroom that day. Was it really only a few hours ago that they were kissing in the cafeteria? It felt like that was months ago.

"Yes, it does. I'm now 'available', as is the Earth term in these situations." Zim blushed back. He slid his way into Dib's arms. "Don't think about Keef. He was barely human, and he'd killed so many others. It was in self-defense." Zim whispered into the cotton-polyester blend in front of him. Dib pulled his arms around his alien boyfriend, grateful for his comforting presence. Zim was like a teddy bear, something so small and protectable yet saves you in your time of need.

"I don't want to go to fast. We should wait to...mate…officially. I don't want to make you scared." Dib stroked Zim's head slowly, feeling his heart swell with pure love for the one in his arms.

"I'm not scared, Dib. You can take me as your mate. I wouldn't want it any other way." Zim smiled at Dib's caring gesture. Dib wouldn't be like Keef. Dib was nice, and gentle, and not crazy like Keef was.

"Well…we should at least plan when we're going to…you know…and…would it work if I wore…protection? Because I don't want to hurt you and since you said it burned when…" Dib trailed off, slightly uncomfortable.

"Planning would be a good idea. It would work with your Earthly 'protection'. All that is required is that at least one person experiences orgasm. We have all this week, when were you thinking?" Zim leaned back a bit, now completely serious.

"Uhm… I don't know…I think here would be best, my dad or my sister might walk in on us at my house. When's good for you?" Dib started acting serious with the topic as conversation began.

"Perhaps tomorrow. I'll make sure that Gir won't bother us." Zim lightly kissed Dib on the cheek. "Until tomorrow, Dib-love." Dib turned to walk away, but Zim stopped him. "Wait, there's something I almost forgot. Computer!"

"Yes?" the dulled voice of the computer rang out through the house.

"Cancel stress relief program 4." Zim commanded.

"Stress relief program 4 has been canceled." The computer complied.

"What was stress relief program 4?" Dib asked.

"That was the cutting program. I'm never doing that again." Dib had almost forgotten about the promise Zim had made. Then again, everything felt rather…surreal up until the point where he shot Keef.

"Good. Thank you, Zim. I'll see you tomorrow, darling." Dib walked out the door, closing it behind him.

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><p>AN: Yayz! Chapter 3! I'm really getting into this. I've wanted to write crazy Keef for a while now. And I have an excuse to write smut! Yay! ^3^! I might not write chapter 4 for a while, but it will be written! Bear with me!


	4. Chapter 4

LitL 4

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><p>Dib had run home. There were two reasons why. One; he wanted to be as far from Keef's dead body as possible. Two; something in his head told him that if he ran, he would get home faster, then he could get back to Zim faster, and that's where he wanted to be.<p>

He shot through the door, although that wasn't unusual. Gaz was playing her Gameslave on the couch.

"Hey Gaz! Is Dad home?" Dib always asked that if Gaz got home first. The Midel Skool got out earlier than the Hyie Skool, although sometimes Dib would be sent home early due to "behavioral issues" regarding the adolescent Sasquatch in his AP Physics class.

"Yeah. Don't worry; I already told him." Gaz responded over her game. Blips and buzzes were issuing from the purple device in her hands. Dib figured that Gaz had just told their father about his being suspended for a week and left the whole homosexuality topic for him to deal with. So when Dib twirled into his room, much like he'd done the past day, he stopped dead in his tracks. Professor Membrane was sitting on Dib's bed, shoulders hunched, next to a brown suitcase.

"D-dad? What happened?" All Dib's worst fears were bubbling up; his father had contracted a deadly disease, he was going to the Crazy House for Boys again, or, worst of all, he was in massive trouble for getting suspended. His father sighed, shaking his head at the sight of his son. Based on the pitch of the sigh and the timing of the shaking of the head, Dib concluded that it was probably the last one.

"My poor, gay, insane son…" Membrane muttered, keeping his head down. Dib almost recoiled in shock. Gaz told Membrane about…_that?_ How…what…when…why? "I hope your little foreign friend is okay with it." Membrane looked up at his son, standing dumbstruck in the doorway. The world-famous professor patted the space next to him, inviting Dib to take a seat.

Zim instantly ordered the computer to clean up the body, leaving NO EVIDENCE, as usual. Robotic arms started fixing the television; radio-controlled mops began swabbing away the blood. An incinerator swallowed up the body, burning it with powerful explosives. Zim started a program in his PAK that would erase the bond between him and Keef, more so in a contraceptive manner. Even though it was years ago, Zim's PAK had preserved Keef's genetic information. Fertilization could have happened at any time, luck and love had kept the sperm out. Zim kept thinking about how tomorrow would be. Judging by Dib's reactions, it was his first time. Would he know what to do? He seemed to have his shit together about kissing…Zim trusted Dib. And this Earth "protection" seemed very effective. The girls at Skool were all going nuts over this mating. The ones that refrained from taking advantage of this tool ended up either with horrible diseases that had no cure, or with children that they couldn't take care of. Why didn't they just wrap it before they tapped it?

"You're kicking me out?" Dib asked his father in shock. Professor Membrane paused for thought.

"It's nothing personal, son. It's the media. If they found out that I had a gay son, they would question my sexuality. And then they would say that you and your sister are illegitimate children, perhaps wedlock-born. As you can understand, it's my image that keeps me going. It keeps me inventing. If it were to go downhill, we would all suffer." He tried to explain. Dib's face was a mosaic of confused anger and hatred.

"How can you just throw me out? I'm your son! You're just gonna throw me away? Who cares if I'm gay? And why should you care about your image? I've been taking shit from all the kids at skool for years! I still believe the paranormal, even against those odds! How could you…how…could…you…just…like trash…I can't…" Dib's anger slowly simmered away, leaving behind a residue of disbelief and loneliness. Membrane clapped a hefty palm onto Dib's shoulder. A small box was placed into Dib's hands.

"Always remember to use protection, son." Membrane boomed. The box was labeled, "Latex Protective Condom; from the company that brought you Adhesive Medical Strips". Dib started crying, just so softly. In a huff, he grabbed the suitcase and, finding it heavy with his belongings, left his room for the last time.

It took about four hours to get the base cleaned. Lemony-fresh victory was wafting down the halls, the blatant citrus covering the stinging formaldehyde and antiseptic stenches. Zim scrubbed the blood stain up by hand. Death was not a new thing for him; he'd practically murdered half of his home planet. But this was something more…abrupt. It was almost like instant gratification, but it was more shaming than anything else. Instant shame, then. Instead of waiting for the casualty count in the news, you know that they're dead, right then and there. Zim took a deep breath, feeling woozy because of the ammonia-based cleaning fluids. There was no more evidence, therefore it never happened.

There was a knock at the door. Or, rather, the computer recognized that there was someone at the door and rang a physical proximity warning across the base. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Zim opened the door, a new pair of contacts and a cleaned wig disguising his more obvious features. Dib was standing on the porch with a suitcase and a box of something. "Dib-love? Why are you here? We planned for tomorrow, remember?" Zim voiced his confusion, concern flitting through artificial pupils.

"My dad kicked me out. He found out about…us…and said that I was bad for his…image. So, I was wondering…could I…stay here? I have nowhere else to go." Dib seemed ashamed and angry, but subdued and tired as well. He needed a warm bed and a good hug, perhaps a nice meal. Most importantly, he needed time with the one he loved, who was still standing in the door, concerned.

"Of course you can live here, Dib. I would have asked after the mating, but I wasn't sure what human protocol was. Come in." Zim stepped to the side, letting Dib in. Dib walked inside, hefting his suitcase in his left hand. Zim followed, closing the door behind him. "What happened between you and your parent-unit?"

Dib had settled down on the couch, his suitcase resting near his feet. "Well, I went home after being here. Everything seemed normal. I asked Gaz if Dad was home. He usually wasn't, but today he was. Gaz said she told Dad something for me. I thought she meant the suspension. When I went into my room, my dad was sitting next to this suitcase on my bed. After a second I sat next to him. He said that he wanted to accept me, but couldn't. Most of his supporters were major conformists. They wouldn't support him if anything in his family was strange or unusual. That's why there were all those rumors about me being crazy. It's not _his_ fault if I'm 'mentally unstable'" Dib paused, feeling the anger resurface. Zim sat on the couch next to him, gently stroking Dib's arms and pressing his face into Dib's neck. Dib continued, strengthened by Zim's love. "So my dad said it was nothing personal, but the media wouldn't like my…sexual preference. I was so angry at him, and I felt so alone. I think that he has some weird prejudices towards gays, because he gave me a box of condoms, as if we did it all the time."

"But we don't. We haven't even done it once. Not every relationship is based around mating. Why does ours have to?" Zim was very confused again. Dib's father-unit had some issues, if he thought like that all the time.

"It doesn't. That's why it bothers me. But I still want to be prepared for tomorrow, so I searched five different drugstores looking for non-water-based lubricant. I finally found some, and then came here." Dib gave Zim a brief hug that may have not been quite as brief as he'd intended. "So, where can I put my stuff?" Dib asked.

"Since we'll be mating tomorrow, I think you should sleep with me. You may take your things to my private chambers. Here, I'll show you." Zim took Dib's hand and pulled them both towards the trashcan. They both descended down the elevator into the depths of the Earth.

* * *

><p>Dib folded his last shirt, placing it in the drawer of the wardrobe that Zim's computer had made. He sighed in contentment. After years of downright shit, things were finally looking up. He had a fantastic boyfriend, a whole new life. Sure, people would tease him for being gay, but what's that compared to being crazy? Besides, he'd had a xenophile label for a few years now. Overall, things were pretty great.<p>

Zim was waiting on his side of the bed, wearing some red pj's and no disguise. Dib turned, wearing blue flannel pj's. He smiled at Zim as they both climbed into the bed. As they lay on the acetate sheets, they found themselves getting lost in the other's eyes. They looked at each other for a good long time. Dib slid his hands around Zim's waist, holding him for just a little while. Zim responded to the holding, scooting closer and placing his hands around Dib's neck. They both felt perfect in that moment. Nothing could hurt them; they were on the top of the world. Dib reached up and stroked one of Zim's antennae. Zim melted at the touch, snuggling closer to Dib. Dib was surprised at the softness of the appendage. It was like wire wrapped with velvet. Once again, that desire to taste them flipped through Dib's mind. He decided against it when fatigue set in. From kissing in the cafeteria to being kicked out, it had been a long day.

* * *

><p>Zim awoke, not in his normal pillow-clutching state, but in Dib's arms. "Hello, beautiful." Dib greeted his now-awake boyfriend. Said boyfriend pulled himself closer into Dib's arms.<p>

"Good morning, Dib-heart. What would you like for breakfast?" Zim replied. He pulled his face into the button-up front of Dib's pajama shirt. He'd cried for this moment for months. Now it was here, and Zim didn't want it to end.

"I'm okay with anything. What about you?" Dib felt more relaxed than he'd ever been in his life. Zim was curled in his arms, and everything felt alright. Nothing could hurt them; they were together. Dib tightened his grip on Zim, feeling him bend to fit around Dib's loose and limber form.

"I'm alright with whatever. How do waffles sound?" Zim was now essentially being carried bridal style, or he would be if they were standing. Zim felt almost ecstatic at the closeness.

"Waffles sound great. But I don't want to get up just yet." Dib pulled Zim in closer and pressed his head against Zim's. They were lying together for about five minutes before there was a clatter from the kitchen. But not just a clatter, of course, more of a ruckus. But not just a ruckus, of course, more of a series of explosions followed with maniacal robot laughter and the clatter of Chinet plates on linoleum. Both men in the bed grumbled in annoyance. "Sounds like Gir's making the waffles."

"I know. We should probably make sure he doesn't set the base on fire again." But neither of them moved. Eventually, Dib simply began carrying Zim out of the bed. "I can walk, Dib-love. Thank you." Dib gingerly placed Zim down, not really wanting to but not wanting to make his boyfriend angry. Their hands remained intertwined.

Zim led Dib to the elevator, since it wasn't very well lit in the base. They stepped on the purple hover platform, which instantly carried them up to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Gir was standing in the center of a veritable warzone. Waffle batter dripped from the walls; there were sticks of butter stuck like stalactites on the ceiling. The little dysfunctional robot was dripping with syrup, laughing and rolling on the flour-covered floor. "Hiya Master! I mades waffles for ya!" Gir's eyes were the only clean thing on him. He gasped when he saw Dib. "Hiya Mary! I made extra waffles just for chu! I hope you like peanuts and soap!"<p>

"No, Gir. Soap isn't edible. I thought I told you that last time." Zim was quick to reprimand his robot, who was poring dish soap onto a rather disfigured waffle.

"Awwww, but I likes soapy waffles. They's is good!" Gir looked very sad. His antenna dropped in sadness. A flying purple moose drifted into the room.

"Squeak?" Minimoose asked, nudging his comrade's shoulder. Gir instantly cheered up.

"Hi moose! Do you want these waffles I made? Master won't eat 'em, and Mary can't." He held up the plate, which had suds and peanuts trickling over the edge. Minimoose swallowed the plate in one gulp.

"Ahem. Sir? I have set up something that might not make this morning a total waste. I can clean up Gir's mess, too." The computer interrupted the minion's insanity. Zim and Dib turned around, seeing a pair of robotic arms pull away from a red-cloth-covered table. It was set with two plates of normal waffles, a tray of butter, a jar of syrup, and a single rose in a vase. It looked like a picturesque French café from the movies.

Dib walked forward and pulled a seat out for Zim, who took it graciously. Dib walked to the other side, taking his seat. "So, when do you think we should mate?" Zim asked, pouring syrup on his waffles. Dib nearly choked on his.

"You're asking about that _now?_ Zim, don't you think we should discuss this after breakfast?" Dib had to gulp down half his orange juice to stop coughing. Zim raised his antennae in confusion.

"But I thought you wanted to mate with me. You said you even looked for special non-water-based lubricant. We're alone, why not?" Zim took a bite of his waffles, seemingly nonchalant. But inside he was filled with turmoil.

"I do want to mate with you, Zim. It's just…an uncomfortable topic for me." Dib blushed and scratched the back of his head. He had purchased some water-free lubricant last night. "How about after breakfast? I don't have any plans, what about you?"

"That sounds good. All I'm planning for today is mating with you. We'd better finish our waffles. I'll have the computer lock Gir and Minimoose out of the way." Zim sipped his orange juice, relaxing. "I love you, Dib."

"I love you too, Zim. Pass the butter?"

* * *

><p>Dib slid the condom on, according to the diagram on the back of the box. Zim was lying nude on the bed, face up. Adrenaline and hormones were rushing through them both; initiating the three f's; Fight, flight, or fuck. Zim grabbed the lube as Dib straddled the lithe green body. Feeling the three clawed fingers lubricate him felt better than anything, even better than self-relief after reading fanfiction. Dib would have to remember some of the tricks he'd read about the characters from War of the Worlds performing. He took the lube and began loosening Zim's entrance.<p>

"Now, Zim, even though we're lubricated, this might hurt a little. I'll go slowly, but I can't stop the pain completely. I wish I didn't have to, but I do." Dib caressed Zim's face, already feeling regret for having to hurt him, even though it's necessary.

"I can handle it. But thank you for caring." Zim smiled, truly happy. Dib leaned down and kissed his lover as he slowly began his entering.

Zim moaned into Dib's mouth. Dib broke the kiss. "Was I going too fast?" Concern was highlighted in the shrillness of his voice.

"No, you were fine. It just felt really good." Zim explained. Dib began stroking Zim's antennae again as he continued. Zim just melted, feeling nothing but ecstasy. Sure, there was a slight pulling sensation, but the feel of those hands on his antennae… Now it was a mouth, suckling the tips…

Zim's antennae tasted like caramel-coated chocolate. Dib had now began thrusting, going deeper with each thrust. He felt Zim scream when Dib found his sweet spot. Dib became braver in his thrusts, spreading Zim's legs a bit. Zim moaned out, responding to each thrust with a thrust of his own. Dib began sucking at Zim's neck, leaving three very close hickies on Zim's collarbone. They resembled a UFO. Zim's pointed cock was brushing against Dib's stomach. Taking his cue, Dib began pumping Zim to the timing of his thrusts. Zim was screaming in the ecstasy; Dib was streaming with pre-orgasmic sweat. The room began to reek like sex. "Dib! I-I-I'm gonna…!" Zim couldn't even finish his sentence before he exploded hot streams of purple cum, all over himself and his mate. Dib soon followed, screaming Zim's name.

The two were panting into each other's neck, riding out the after-tingles of orgasm. Dib gently kissed Zim on the lips, pulling out. The two stayed like that for a moment, just being together. The world didn't matter, not now. They had mated; they were tied together forever.

After a while, Dib sat up and removed the condom, once again following the instructions on the back of the box. He tossed it into an incinerator chute, hearing it spontaneously combust.

"Well, Dib-mate. I suppose we should obtain some sort of accessory that marks us as mated. What do you suggest?" Zim sat up on the bed, using the sheet to clean off his chest.

"Do you mean, like, wedding rings? I guess. It does make sense, now that I think about it. We can go shopping tomorrow, okay?" Dib turned back to the bed, having just been watching the incinerator.

"Alright. I love you, Dib-mate."

"I love you too, darling."

* * *

><p>AN: The sexy Chapter 4! And this is not the end! *evil laugh* UFO-shaped hickies are kinky... Review, please!


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